Captain obvious here but..THIS WEATHER IS AMAZING!!
After work yesterday I grabbed a Papa Murphy's take n' bake pizza, went home, bundled up Bentlee and outside we went!! Jerry and I took him out for his first ride in his new wagon he got for Christmas! And he was in HEAVEN! He didn't cry, whine or frown once. He just sat back and took it all in. I knew summer with him would be fun, but not I ABSOLUTELY can NOT wait!!! With the small amount of sunshine we have to take advantage of by the time I get off work, get him & get dinner made...I am going to take FULL advantage of ANY sunshine we have! If anyone know's me...I HATE THE OUTSIDE. Absolutely hate it. wierd, i know. But I've never been an outdoorsy person. Until now. Seeing my son so happy outside was SUCH an AMAZING feeling and I can't wait to spend the ENITRE summer outside with him!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
day from hell.
Friday. By definition should be the ending to my work week, pretty stressLESS day. WRONG.
Friday's my soon-2-b mother-n-law watches our son. (Yay for not having to pay for daycare one day a week!...It's the small things...) However, this past Friday my MIL was sick. No worries, I called daycare...he can go there. Crisis resolved. WRONG.
Friday morning at 5:30am the babysitter texts and says her ENTIRE household has been hit with the plague. LOVELY. Since calling in wasn't really an option (bc I have been off so much due to Bentlee being sick and having his ear surgery)...I frantically call EVERYONE (I trust my son with) @ 530am. Did anyone answer. NOPE. Do I blame them? NOPE Would I have answered my phone at 530am? NOPE.
So what do u do in this scenerio!?!? (Which OBVIOUSLY would NOT have been a scenerio/issue if I was a stay at home mommy 'S@HM'). SOOOOO...I do my morning duties and pack up my sweet baby and WE head to work! What boss doesn't love turning the office into a daycare also!?!? Win Win right?! I get to bring in an income AND still be with my baby! Until 30min into our mommy & me day at work the phone starts ringing AND baby proceeds to cry. ha shocker.
So I now spend the next hour figuring out who/how Bentlee could get picked up and taken home (mind u...my baby doesn't just stay with ANYONE...so finding someone is ACTUALLY harder than it sounds) Needless to say, my 'sick' MIL...(whom I APPRECIATE) came and picked Bentlee up after her dr appt and took him to her house. 'Who doesn't love a whiny/sorta sick baby when they r sick 2?!?'
O.the.joys.of.a.working.mommy.
Friday's my soon-2-b mother-n-law watches our son. (Yay for not having to pay for daycare one day a week!...It's the small things...) However, this past Friday my MIL was sick. No worries, I called daycare...he can go there. Crisis resolved. WRONG.
Friday morning at 5:30am the babysitter texts and says her ENTIRE household has been hit with the plague. LOVELY. Since calling in wasn't really an option (bc I have been off so much due to Bentlee being sick and having his ear surgery)...I frantically call EVERYONE (I trust my son with) @ 530am. Did anyone answer. NOPE. Do I blame them? NOPE Would I have answered my phone at 530am? NOPE.
So what do u do in this scenerio!?!? (Which OBVIOUSLY would NOT have been a scenerio/issue if I was a stay at home mommy 'S@HM'). SOOOOO...I do my morning duties and pack up my sweet baby and WE head to work! What boss doesn't love turning the office into a daycare also!?!? Win Win right?! I get to bring in an income AND still be with my baby! Until 30min into our mommy & me day at work the phone starts ringing AND baby proceeds to cry. ha shocker.
*Ready 2 go 2 work w/ mommy*
So I now spend the next hour figuring out who/how Bentlee could get picked up and taken home (mind u...my baby doesn't just stay with ANYONE...so finding someone is ACTUALLY harder than it sounds) Needless to say, my 'sick' MIL...(whom I APPRECIATE) came and picked Bentlee up after her dr appt and took him to her house. 'Who doesn't love a whiny/sorta sick baby when they r sick 2?!?'
O.the.joys.of.a.working.mommy.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
My blue-eyed love.
Officially a crawler :)
How could your heart not melt with this smile?!?
Papparazzi :)
Baby monster! AHHHHH....
Gotta love him!
new.at.this.
So, I'm a hell of a talker, but not so much of a writer. So we shall c how this goes :)
I created this blog, well because a lot of my friends have blogs and they are interesting to read...and thought i'd give it a twirl! :) So here goes.
jeal·ous
My crazy life as a working mom...what the hell does that have to do with jealousy?
I have never really been a jealous person. I don't care what others have compared to what I have.
Until now, until the day I became a mother.
I've cried everyday from the day I brought my son home...till today. I DID NOT want to go back to work...but unfortunately, being a stay at home mom was not in my books or mine & my fiances budget. As the days came closer to me having to go back to work...my sadness of not being able to stay at home became more of a jealousy towards those who do. Those who constantly post about how they love being a stay at home mommy on facebook and those who talk about it constantly. (Don't confuse jealousy with mad. jealous. I am...but mad. I am not. I would do the same thing if I were given the opportunity to be a stay at home mommy.)
I found myself asking & thinking, Why can't I stay home? Why do they get to stay home and I can't? Maybe if I didn't go to college and have all this college debt, then I could stay home. I am a good person, and a good mom..so why don't I deserve the chance to get to stay home and raise my son?
All these questions I asked...I knew there was no answer that could be told to me that I would accept. Except the one allowing me to stay home. Well as you can tell by the title of my blog...This.Never.Happened.
I have been working full time since my son turned 12 weeks old. Those parents that tell me it gets easier to leave him every day. ARE.LIARS. It doesn't. It breaks my heart a little more EVERY day to drop him off at day care (don't get me wrong, my son has the most AMAZING lady who watches him and he absolutley LOVES going there). But it still doesn't get easier.
So I have worked VERY hard DAILY to turn my jealousy into something else. What that something else is...I don't know. :) But I have found my jealousy to dwindle and have started to cherish the moments I spend with my son MORE and MORE, since I am not allowed to spend every waking momment with him. I am turning the jealousy into happiness. PURE happiness for the greatest gift god has EVER given me. my son.
So for now...I will continue to do the job of a stay at home mommy AND a working mommy. I will wake up every night and rock or feed my baby (given it is my night, not my fiances night for baby duties :)). I will get up at the ass crack of dawn to shower and get myself ready for work. I will pack lunches for the day. I will feed my baby breakfast and get him ready for the day and take him to day care. I will work 8+ hours a day (meanwhile missing my son every second of the day I am without him). I will leave work and take on my 3rd role of a soon-2-b wife, go grocery shopping & pick up my sweet baby and go home. But jsut because my day of a working mommy is over, doesn't mean my day of a stay at home mommy is. So I will make dinner, eat dinner, do dinner dishes, do laundry, play with my son, bathe my son & run any errands necessary (since I was working all day). Read books to my baby and rock him to sleep. Never would I imagine being able to nap. AFTER all of this, then and only then, I will sit down take a breath and plan how I will do it all again tomorrow. {{...did i mention i am also planning a wedding :)...}}
*Super-mommy has a NEW definition*
I created this blog, well because a lot of my friends have blogs and they are interesting to read...and thought i'd give it a twirl! :) So here goes.
jeal·ous
[jel-uh
s]
s] adjective
1. feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often followed by of )
2. feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. (often followed by of )
3. characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment
4. inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims
5. solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something
I have never really been a jealous person. I don't care what others have compared to what I have.
Until now, until the day I became a mother.
I've cried everyday from the day I brought my son home...till today. I DID NOT want to go back to work...but unfortunately, being a stay at home mom was not in my books or mine & my fiances budget. As the days came closer to me having to go back to work...my sadness of not being able to stay at home became more of a jealousy towards those who do. Those who constantly post about how they love being a stay at home mommy on facebook and those who talk about it constantly. (Don't confuse jealousy with mad. jealous. I am...but mad. I am not. I would do the same thing if I were given the opportunity to be a stay at home mommy.)
I found myself asking & thinking, Why can't I stay home? Why do they get to stay home and I can't? Maybe if I didn't go to college and have all this college debt, then I could stay home. I am a good person, and a good mom..so why don't I deserve the chance to get to stay home and raise my son?
All these questions I asked...I knew there was no answer that could be told to me that I would accept. Except the one allowing me to stay home. Well as you can tell by the title of my blog...This.Never.Happened.
I have been working full time since my son turned 12 weeks old. Those parents that tell me it gets easier to leave him every day. ARE.LIARS. It doesn't. It breaks my heart a little more EVERY day to drop him off at day care (don't get me wrong, my son has the most AMAZING lady who watches him and he absolutley LOVES going there). But it still doesn't get easier.
So I have worked VERY hard DAILY to turn my jealousy into something else. What that something else is...I don't know. :) But I have found my jealousy to dwindle and have started to cherish the moments I spend with my son MORE and MORE, since I am not allowed to spend every waking momment with him. I am turning the jealousy into happiness. PURE happiness for the greatest gift god has EVER given me. my son.
So for now...I will continue to do the job of a stay at home mommy AND a working mommy. I will wake up every night and rock or feed my baby (given it is my night, not my fiances night for baby duties :)). I will get up at the ass crack of dawn to shower and get myself ready for work. I will pack lunches for the day. I will feed my baby breakfast and get him ready for the day and take him to day care. I will work 8+ hours a day (meanwhile missing my son every second of the day I am without him). I will leave work and take on my 3rd role of a soon-2-b wife, go grocery shopping & pick up my sweet baby and go home. But jsut because my day of a working mommy is over, doesn't mean my day of a stay at home mommy is. So I will make dinner, eat dinner, do dinner dishes, do laundry, play with my son, bathe my son & run any errands necessary (since I was working all day). Read books to my baby and rock him to sleep. Never would I imagine being able to nap. AFTER all of this, then and only then, I will sit down take a breath and plan how I will do it all again tomorrow. {{...did i mention i am also planning a wedding :)...}}
*Super-mommy has a NEW definition*
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